bad photoshop

I won’t name the retailer using this image on their homepage, but YEEGADS

The most important advice for clients is this: 

If you’re spending all that money on a photoshoot, make sure you spend as generously on the post-production.

A lot can be done in post-production Photoshop to save an image if the color is off, the lighting went wrong, or the clothes are wrinkled. A good retoucher with retail experience knows how far to take an image while maintaining the integrity. But there are bad retouchers who can destroy all the hard work that goes into a shoot with a few clicks. 

As seen here:

Lady In Red is sitting… on thin air. They removed her stool.

There must’ve been a shadow to the left. It’s blue, white, and ghostly. WTH?

Lady In Blue has a pointed shoulder blade and abnormal waist. Somebody went all Barbie on her.

We won’t even discuss Lady In Red’s expression. Caught at the wrong moment by the camera… Really, there wasn’t a better shot to choose from?

Every model’s nightmare. How did this get approved??? Epic Fail!

eye bling piercing heart

On today’s “what is this world coming to” list is the new cosmetic procedure implanting shiny jewelry into the eyeball. C’monnn, really??

 This only goes to prove that if you’re willing to pay, there’s a doctor on Park Avenue willing to oblige. Until someone loses and eyeball and sues. And we wonder why medical malpractice insurance is so high? 

Want something permanent that’s painful to remove? Get a tattoo. Leave your eyeballs au naturale. Your mother will thank you.

We’re starting to see some photos from the new Steven Meisel for Louis Vuitton campaign in the UK Vogue & Harpers August issues, and in Vanity Fair and W Mag in the USA. Stay tuned… 

 

paula patrice first model pic long hair

My first photo, ever.

We are so accustomed to computer-generated graphics, it’s hard to believe this is 100% human-generated beauty! Like the song in the video? I did, so I bought it! You can find more music by Yasmine Hamdan here. I wonder if she’s considered Qatar pop? THE CHALLENGE:  Prove ‘The Power of X’ by attempting an Idea Worth Doing to open TEDxSUMMIT in Doha, Qatar. WE ARE Pi collaborated with the Koener Union and Paris’ BIG Productions. Together, they fused architecture, dance, math and magic into a bespoke18-meter high triangular mirrored structure that hovered over a multi-colour moving floor to create the world’s first Human Arabesque (with no computer graphics). Just wow!

A Google search for “Vogue Lady In Red” can bring you up to speed on the conspiracy theories surrounding my inclusion in this otherwise-übercool editorial featuring Daria Strokous and Caroline Trentini.
 
Has Steven Meisel lost his mind? No, I’m pretty sure he’s just exercising his sense of humor!

I find this editorial to be brilliantly conceived and flawlessly executed. Working with Steven Meisel was an honor; I love that he allowed me to be myself without trying to “cool me up” and I am proud to have a role in the creation of his art.

Re: The Story:
The women who patronize teleshopping channels save up for that $300 gold pleather jacket payable in 3 Easy-Pay installments because for them, it is their Christian Lacroix. Teleshopping carries everything from frumpy knits to “designer” goods, making the higher priced designer items the equivalent of a middle-America Chanel.
 
Fashion is subjective; your cool may not be my cool. Real women from Texas to Tuscany covet clothing that they can wear in their everyday lives, inspired by haute couture runways but made wearable by mass market designers. It’s the trickle-down effect from runway to ready-to-wear to private label.

Re: The Casting:
I think Steven again makes a statement. Watching Joan Rivers on QVC, she overshadows her guests, the models and the merchandise. It’s the Joan Show and the customers call  Keep Reading »

 Paula Patrice eBay

well maybe not literally, but figuratively

I'm selling off all of the crazy fashion, couture and little "trucs" i've acquired during my globe-trotting modeling years.

It's a 300 square foot climate-controlled closetful so I've got my assistant Loni to help me, and it'll take a few months.

You can view the action as it goes down on my personal eBay page (click here) .

If you've got a size 10 / 41 shoe or wear a size 6, this may be your lucky season!!!

Galliano, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, oh my gosh the most gorgeous Gucci vintage stilettos… and hot pink stiletto patent leather Stuart Weitzman boots!

Check me out, please give my stuff a good home! xo 

heheah oops! Tyra would never let this happen… then again, Tyra doesn't do Live TV does she?

Paula Patrice Model With Tim Gunn Project Runway

The past few days I’ve been shooting a TV commercial with Tim Gunn.

The spot is for Tide, the sponsor of Project Runway amongst other shows, and I am honored to be working in such fabulous company! It’s fun “playing” a model.

Tim is absolutely the nicest, most professional, humble, intelligent, witty man ever! Even more so than he appears on TV, if that’s possible.

One would expect him to pull the full Divo treatment with separate dressing room, a rider a mile long and whatever else these divas all ask for… but nope, he was right there in the makeup chair next to me sharing his space and his thoughts. I can see why he’s made it so far in the fashion and media worlds. He gets the job done and treats the crew with respect. Inspirational!

Make it work people… and stay humble!

Check out the final TV spots that aired here.

 

 circa 1993. rockin' the blonde american in paris look. fun times =)

paris1993001_400   w_mag_1993001_400

    (c) belongs to W Magazine 

this is so great, so many memories.

the pic on the top right is my first cover try,  the top left is a magazine shoot in Morocco.
bottom left is some magazine for the UK shot in Miami, and the bottom right is Modes et Traveaux magazine in Paris.

img024rt_400

fun times baby, fun times. i loved paris. 

i came across a couple of my early blonder model pics.

are you ready? no, really, they're nuts. theyre from my time in Paris with Marilyn Gautier Agency.

These are from The Face Magazine in the UK… and i am the long-haired model, not the raunchy short haired one.

img021rt_400  img022rt_400

gotta love the gucci gold bikini. i was hissing, pretending to be a cat, cuz i do that sometimes.

the other is Laura Whitcomb for Label, when she was sponsored by Playboy.
Hey- at least i got half a shirt!

Now THAT is rockin' editorial!!! 

I don't even know where to start.
Was i really sitting in the middle of two ponzi schemes completely oblivious to what was going on around me? 

read the original apartment fire / ponzi con artist entries here Frown

So this brings some of the OMG puzzle together… Maywood Capital was the landlord for my Harlem apartment building that was 'arsoned'.
Gee, wonder why?

And the further irony here is that this scheme was going on at the same time as the Alexis Quinlin scheme (you can catch up with the rest of us by reading earlier entries here), and the same reporter at the NY Post has reported the stories.

Here's my question:

Doesn't anyone believe in earning their money thru an honest day's work anymore?!!! 

JERSEY POL IN N.Y. PONZI BUST
By LAURA ITALIANO

November 8, 2007 — A city council president from Bergen County was hauled in handcuffs before a Manhattan Supreme Court justice last night – as one of three New Jersey lawyers charged in a $40 million real-estate Ponzi scheme. 
Keep Reading »

HEY KARMA – what did i do to deserve this *%!#?!

So, ask my why i havent been updating. Go ahead, ask me.

1. my apartment building burned down

2. my father passed away

3. i was conned

…in no particular order of trauma.

so i find out that this guy who has been pretending to be a very famous photographer and friend of mine for almost THREE YEARS is a fraud. Yes kids, i was conned.
But he got others… for… ahem… 4 million dollar$$$$$.
Thanks to gut instinct, he only took me for a lunch and a dinner.

So, where do we start?
Let's start with the newspaper article coming out on Monday in the New York Post.
here's the first article


i'm minding my own biz, riding the train home, and i flip the page to see my friend's pic on a full page… scam what huh?
no, i'm not the model-victim they speak about. but i could have been. not only did this man scam people, he took their life savings.
sick, huh?

i felt compelled to come forward with all of the 50 bazillion emails this Alexis character sent me, telling me he was hanging with all these super-famous people…
telling me he was someone else. trying to get my money!
and that's what you'll be reading monday in the paper. i gave permission to use my name and evidence because it was the right thing to do.

so monday, may 22nd 2006, the day my daddy is laid to rest, so will the matter of Alexis Quinlin be.

this is the UK versionof the article i contributed to

here is the DA's indictment

and here, folks, is the final verdict! Tongue out  karma's a b!tch man, and don't your forget it!

yup, Fire.

luckily, this is not a picture of my apt, it's the one below me that started the fire. mine? not much better.

ARSON.
yup. thx for almost killing me mr. arsonist

so, 5am on a saturday morning i wake up choking on smoke, dreaming of BBQ.
no joke. can't see even 3 feet in front of me.

5 foot tall wall of smoke, no air at the ground b/c its comin from below me.
im like ok, time to get out. via my 4th story window… cuz there's no escape, no fire escape, nada.
and the nice firemen that show up below me don't see me.
curtain wrapped around my head, trying to breathe, trying to get their attention before i passed out…

–> interject a couple things here…

first, leaning out your window isn't gonna help in this situation b/c the smoke bellows up, therefore no one can see you when you lean out.
second, models take note: my portfolio was on the other end of my apartment, in the living room… nowhere near where i could reach it.
as was my wallet, passport, etc… careless. i had nothing and i had no escape.

nice planning P!
well, obviously, they found me. when that flashlight beam hit me and i heard "there's someone up there" as the windows on the floor below me blew out, glass flying to the street… well, i thought i was dead just before i knew i was saved.

HALLA-FRIGGIN-LOOYA!
…didnt wait for mr fireman to come up, as soon as they had that ladder at my window i was climbin down!
to be honest, i dont remember climbing onto the ladder. i just remember aaaaaaaair. boy O2 is good!
i will never abuse my lungs. recreational smoke will never enter my body.

i'm alive, i'm breathin' and i'm cherishing life.